Genre: Barely Not Porn. Or Porn-Ish. Or Porn Lite.
As I was reading this book, I just rolled my eyes and tried to understand why anyone would enjoy reading this. I mean, if you take out all of the sexual references, comments, descriptions, innuendos, mentions, and, well, the sex, all that’s left is a bunch of thes, ands and exclamation points. Then I had an epiphany (Google it – it’s not the Big O): I was completely going about this book in the wrong way. I was looking at it from a reviewer’s standpoint, a good book/bad book angle, and that is absolutely not how this tome is meant to be devoured.
There are plenty of books about scarred college guys who are hunky and tattooed and pumped up and have slept with hundreds of faceless lasses because he can’t give his heart to just one girl yet because of that thing that happened in his past and he’s just waiting for that perfect girl to break through his defenses. This un-novel novel is about going a step further, though, because it has lots and lots of descriptive sex. And almost sex. And inner dialogue about glances that make man parts twitch. And vajayjays yell “holla!” And less of a story. (Sheesh; that again…I must move past that.)
But can I? I know people enjoy different kinds of stories, like heavy Russian novels in your Ice Palace and light, frothy beach reads on vacation, but I can’t really see any point to this story other than making your ladybits tingle and getting the vapors. So what do we talk about here, then? The main characters, virginal Baya (echhh that name) and studly Bryson have a “meet cute” that can only be here, nestled amongst these pages of gutteral sounds, flashing, flapping, tingling, yearning, and aching body parts, endless sex by a roommate who Baya doesn’t even meet (face-to-face, anyway) until the end of the book and a tally of conquests that Baya’s overprotective (of course) yet hypocritical brother has on his door-frame.
This book is written in that way where there is no question about the motives of either Baya or Bryson, because they tell us everything. Their voices alternate in chapters, so you know from the get-go that sweet, lovely, innocent baby Baya is tired of her brother’s protection and is ready to do the deed immediately, if not sooner. We also are happy to know that while Bryson has as many notches on his door-frame as her brother Cole, he was only reacting to something bad that happened to him that he can’t talk about. So it’s OK. He didn’t mean any of that sex with those people; at least his heart wasn’t in it. Which makes his attraction to Baya, even with all of his penis saluting talk, pure and true. So noble. Gag.
So blah blah blah, have to hide their relationship from Cole; blah blah blah, Bryson is even awesomer because his little sister is deaf; blah blah blah, Baya has to wear some tiny short shorts (that she stole from her sexually adventurous roommate) to work in Bryson’s bar because that’s all she had though she would never normally wear that sort of thing (several times); blah blah blah there’s the bitch who wants Bryson at any cost; blah blah blah dang it, I am tired of being the innocent virgin; blah blah blah I can’t live with that roommate so I have to stay in my brother’s apartment with him and Bryson don’t worry nothing will happen…blah blah blah BLECH.
Look, sex in novels is all well and good, but for me, bottom line, it can’t take the place of story. Seriously, if you removed everything not having to do with sex from this novel, there would be no changes. And like I’ve complained about before: New Adult is now code for PORN LITE. The tale was unrealistic, the characters one-sided and boring.
If you buy this, get a room.
3:AM Kisses by Addison Moore was published September 17, 2013 by Addison Moore Publishing. Ink and Page got this book for free from Amazon.
Genre: New Adult/Adult Fiction Contemporary Erotica Series
You Might Want to Know: Very mature themes, descriptions of sex; drinking